A New Song I Wrote

This song just fits my life right now:

Every time I try to walk on my own, I fall.
Every time I try to control my life,
I always lose control.
And everytime I try to do things my own way,
It never fails, I always fail.

So I will trust you Lord
With my life, each day.
I need You to lead me, Lord
Every step of the way.
I will close my eyes
and take Your hand.
I follow You blindly, Lord.
You know the way for me.

I don't need to see what lies ahead,
as long as You are in control.
I don't need for man to understand,
why I would blindly follow You.

How Much Am I Willing To Give Him

Chris and I have been seeking the Lord for some answers in a couple different ares in our life. Without going into a lot of detail just yet, let's just say that the Lord has been speaking to both of us (unbeknownst to each other) the same thing. Without knowing what the Lord has been putting on Chris' heart (and visa versa), I have been dealing with the same things on my heart. Basically what it boils down to is that God is asking us to make a huge sacrafice for Him. He's asking us to give up something that means a whole lot to both of us and our family. I can see a few very important reasons for this request, and without being able to see a clear picture of what will follow, I can clearly see that God has a purpose for everything that He asks of us. Anyway, I have been spending my past several days whining to the Lord about this request, and how much I don't want to obey, and I finally came to the conclusion that He is worthy of everything that I have. I keep saying that I am giving God all of me, and holding nothing back from Him. I was sot of hoping that He would take my word for it and not put me to the test in that, but I now have a great opportunity in front of me to prove to God that I truly mean it. Sometimes we have to let go of things in our life that we really love, and trust that God has a reason for everything that He does. Gosh it feels like I've been having to do that a lot lately. I am looking at this as just another big risk that I am going to take for the Lord, and it's another opportunity for Chris and I to step out of our comfort zone and rely completely on the guidance of the Lord....blindfolded, none the less. That always lands us in a better place in life that when we try to control our situations.

No Worries

It looks like Marsh is really wanting Chris back, now that they've sold the company, the crap hit the fan, and now they're restructuring everything. Chris would really like to go back now that there's job security and things are running differently. Soooo, it looks like his insurance will also be changing in the next month or two, if they finalize their negotiations with Chris (he's negotiating salary, seniority, etc. just to make the job switch worth his while). Because of this, I'm considering postponing my medical tests until his new insurance kicks in. Well, I was supposed to have my biopsy this earlier this week, and then it was postponed until next week (because of a scheduling conflict on the Dr.'s side). My doctor called me and said that all of my other tests have come back normal, so he doesn't think that it's a problem to do the biopsy after Chris' gets his new insurance. That is good news. So, just hearing that has helped relax me quite a bit. Really this biopsy is something that the Dr. always does before the procedure he wants to do. So, I feel more confident that there's not anything serious wrong with me (at least not physically lol). Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that it's not a big deal. Thanks for your prayers.