God makes us do hard things sometimes...

Every once in a while I get up enough nerve to ask the Lord to reveal the sin in my own heart, so that I can make things right with Him. Each time I do that, He never fails me. There is always something there that He decides to show me. This past week, I went and did it again, and sure enough God showed me a couple of things that He wanted me to clean out. One of them was my attitude about my music. He has really been convicting my heart about hiding from people out of the fear of rejection. Finally I stepped out and asked my brother to help me record a few of my worship songs to send to my cousin in Nashville. I feel relieved by that, and actually a little excited (but still a bit scared). The other thing that God revealed to me was even harder, though. As I mentioned in my previous blog, my tongue has been a weakness for me. God specifically told me that I have been using this "weapon" against another cousin who I love, by grumbling and complaining. That was hard for me, because I knew in my heart that I had grown cold toward her. So, I prayed and asked Him to forgive me, and told the Lord that I would change that situation. Assuming that the Lord would then simply forgive me, and then we could move on, I was mistaken. God finally had to say to me loud and clear that I haven't dealt with this until I have gone to this person and told her of my sin, asking her for forgiveness. OUCH! That is so hard to do! I finally was able to muster up the courage to call this woman and lay my heart out on the table, and ask her for forgiveness. I knew when I did this that I was risking the possible loss of respect from her, and putting our friendship on the line. Let's be honest here, I had already put our friendship on the line by not being respectful to her, and by allowing my attitude to turn hard. However, God had been a part of our conversation, and my cousin couldn't have been more merciful to me than she was that day. Not only did I feel like God had cleansed that area in my heart, but I was also able to see what a great work He has been doing in my cousin's heart. I saw such a maturity there. I haven't felt this free for a while now, and I'm so thankful for the hard things that God makes me do sometimes.


Opening your heart completely to God, and choosing not to hide things from Him can be a really scary thing, but it is also exactly what you need to grow into the mature individual that you're meant to become. God sometimes asks us to do things that are extreme and uncomfortable, but once you step out there and decide that it's more important to be obedient than to hide, you will feel more free than ever before. It's easy to hold things in our hearts and let them fester. I am really growing in the Lord and it hasn't been easy, but there's nothing in the world that I would rather hear than the words of my Father saying to me "Well done my good and faithful servant". The last thing on earth that I would want is to allow just one little dirty area in my heart to prevent me from hearing those words. The Lord puts us in difficult situations sometimes, but it's only because He wants us to continue to grow. I guess I'm willing to accept His "constructive critisism" (or in other words, conviction).

God bless you.