Words of Wisdom

I am one of many people who can honestly say that my biggest weakness in life has been the words that have slipped from my tongue from time to time. There have been far too many cases that I have either said the wrong thing at the wrong time, or I have said the wrong thing in the presence of the wrong ears. This is the biggest area the I feel like God is changing in me. Too many people have been hurt because of the way I have used my tongue, and too many people have been misunderstood. It's a powerful weapon that can kill, even when I am not aiming to kill. It's scary to think that the power of life or death is in our tongue, but it's true. I have really flubbed up too many times to count. Thank God for His never ending Mercy.

The Lord is really impressing on me that it is also a powerful weapon that can be used to save lives, and build people up. This is the way I want to use this tiny yet venomous piece of flesh that I am stuck with ('til death do us part). Not that I have never before chosen to use my tongue for the glory of God, or to be an encouragement, but it sure does feel right to know that from this point on, I can make that my most important goal. If a person is able to tame their tongue, and use it only for good, they are able to keep their whole body under control. I just hope that the waves that have been caused by my tongue in the past are now weakened, so that I can begin to see the fruit of my changes. Thank God for revealing to me the dirt in my own heart that He is willing to clean out. Without Him, I am nothing but a dirty wretched scoundral. It is so freeing to know that He can change someone like me into a woman of great purpose.

I remember an old DC Talk song called "God Is Doing A New Thang". I feel like that applies to my family right now. Not only did my brother and sister just move to Hawaii last weekend to train for the mission field in Japan, but God is also bringing Chris and I into a whole new life. The last several months have been an emotional and spiritual stretch for Chris and I. Last summer, God told us that it was time for us to leave our home church. We really struggled with that, because that church is a family to us. We left a church that we love, and where God is moving. We began attending a different church immediately, which is also a great church that God is moving in. It has been a struggle getting to know people there, and I still am feeling like a visitor.

(bare with me, because this is a great thing)

For most of my life, I have been dependent on people and relationships with people. For a couple of years, I have really been aching in that area, because I have felt like almost all of my relationships with people were growing distant. Chris and I were both starting to really feel like outsiders in a close-knit church of people. When you're a "people" person, it's really hard to make it through life feeling like the only friends you have are your husband and relatives. After leaving my home church, I struggled with that even more, even though I was feeling alone before I left. But, it has turned out to be an amazing thing. Now that I can look back, I see that God had purposely arranged for my relationships to grow distant. He needed to pull me away from the people I most depended on in order to teach me how to depend on Him alone. He has used that time to bring much needed healing in our lives, and to help us to see why things have happened as they did. We left the church feeling frustrated, useless and hurt, but God has really opened our eyes and shown us that there has alwasy been a plan and a purpose for this difficult season. He is preparing us to become the servants that we were always called to be, and He needed us to learn to rely on Him alone and not be dependent on man to bring us an oppurtunity to use our gifts.

Although, I am still feeling like "the new comer" at our new church, I am beginning to slowly get to know people, and Chris has never pressed in to God more than he is right now. In fact, I am seeing a fire in Chris that I haven't seen since we were dating. I have a feeling that no church is going to be the avenue that God chooses to manefest His calling for our lives. He is teaching us to be accountable to a leader, but to still seek Him and depend on Him for the fulfillment of our gifts and calling. In so many areas of my life, I now understand why God removed me from my dependancy in order to allow me to be used. I now can see what was causing me so much frustration, and how God has brought me out of a good thing in order to direct me in the things that are right for me. There was never anything wrong with my home church. God has a reason for the hard lessons, and the blessings. The things that He's building up in my heart are not going to be for everyone, and that's okay. God has already provided a very well-rounded group of servants at my home church. We are now free to continue learning how to rely on God alone, and follow the steps that He has layed out for us. I am seeing God open new doors of opportunity for me to develope my musical gift, and it's not even in a church at all. I have been singer for most of my life, but deep in my heart, I'm really a worship songwriter. That's something that I have not been using, and God is constantly reminding me of the parable of the talents. I am the one who hides their talent. Now, I have told God that I'm ready to obey Him, and He has been pouring new songs into my heart. He has opened doors and given me someone who is excited about helping me with this. I have a cousin that produces music, and now manages. When he found out my "little secret", he showed such an excitement about it, and offered to help me develope these songs. I feel like I have been looking for help in all the wrong places, when the answer was right there in my family all along. My grandma also got wind of this, and has offered to help me write music. Isn't it funny how God works things out. This is just one of the many areas where I was growing hopelessly frustrated that I am seeing God's hand move in my life. It's just one area that God needed to pull me away from my comfort zone, and teach me to trust Him. I feel like God is really setting our lives in order, and leading our steps.